Online Dating Resources:
Romance for Singles

So, you're tired of the lonely single life, and you're ready to take the plunge into the world of online dating and internet personals. Good for you! Love could be just around the corner! But as with anything in the online world, computer dating is often only as good as the effort you put into it.

What Are You Looking For?

First off, you need to decide what you're after. Do you want a friend? A partner? Marriage? A sexy short-term romantic fling, or a long-term commitment. In other words, are you looking for Mr./Miss "Right," or are you just interested in Mr./Miss "Right Now"? Rest assured, there are plenty of both types ready and willing. Whether you choose a relationship site like eHarmony or an "intimate dating" site like True.com, there's always someone who'll be available for you. But you also need to keep in mind that you're living in the real world. The chances of you hooking up with your ideal fantasy mate are pretty much zero. Just as you've got your own quirks, hangups and idiosynchracies, so too will just about anyone you happen to meet. Unless you happen to match up with an android like Cherry 2000. In that case, Yahoo for you!

Setting Up Your Profile

Here's where the fun comes in. You have to tell a little about yourself. And although you don't want to overexaggerate your good qualities, you do need to remember that you're "selling" yourself. And you've got a lot of competition.

This is also an area where your ultimate goal comes into play. If you're looking for that sexy "intimate dating" situation, chances are pretty good that it won't matter if you over-sell yourself. Because in all likelihood, the person you end up meeting will have done exactly the same thing. When you finally do meet, though, be prepared to face the reality that she looks more like Kathy Bates than Angelina Jolie --- or that he more closely resembles Gerard Depardieu than Brad Pitt.

If you're looking for a long-term relationship, however, honesty is important. Sure, you'll get a lot more attention if you claim to earn $250,000 a year and live on the beach in Hawaii (no offense to those of you who really DO make $250K and live on a Hawaiian beach), but when your match discovers that you really wash cars for a living (again, no offense to car-washers) and live in your parents' basement... well, let's just say the odds aren't going to be in your favor for a second date.

This is not to say that you have to be completely, brutally honest about your every little flaw. The purpose of your profile is to get someone's attention -- to the point where they get in contact with you. Think of it as a resume for your love life. It's not intended to get you the "job" so much as to get you an "interview."

One other note about the importance of honesty: If you're using one of the more scientific internet dating sites, then the more truthful you are, the more likely the computer dating system will be to pick out a compatible romantic match for you. If you're not so truthful, you're really just wasting your (and someone else's) time.

Is This Right for Me?

You might also be wondering if online dating is "right" for you in the first place. And that's a good question. The best way to answer it is with another question: How well have you been doing on your own? If you're the kind of person who gets all the dating opportunities you need without any assistance, then there's really no need to bother with online dating. If, on the other hand, you're spending one lonely night after another with no hope of change in sight, then online dating is certainly an option you might want to consider.

In many cases, online dating can be somewhat expensive. This can be both a positive and a negative. Obviously, it's a negative in that it takes away some of your money. But on the other hand, higher costs tend to keep away some of the less-desirable candidates, allowing you to focus on people you're more likely to be compatible with.

One way to think of online dating is that in part, it's not about people. It's a business. And as with most businesses, there are buyers and there are sellers. In this case, you'll be both buying and selling. Whether you end up with your soulmate is entirely up to you and your "buyer."

Oh, and don't be too picky. Sure, you can be very selective, but try to keep an open mind about who you'd find acceptable. For example, you might be a little skittish about dating someone who's been through a divorce. But by excluding all divorced applicants, you're severely limiting the pool of possible mates you could choose from. A better strategy would be to keep yourself open to different possibilities; you can always call things off before your first face-to-face meeting if you decide you're not compatible.